I went to the Doctor's office for what I thought was a simple kidney infection. After tons of poking and prodding, with mulitple "ouch" replies- he looked at me and said "get to the emergency room..."
The last thing I wanted to do was spend a few hours in an ER- but I went anyway... Now I've had a baby- (c-section to be exact) so I know pain. The pain in my lower left back was really getting bad. I could no longer ignore my symptoms. It was time to take care of the problem.
What is the point of this? I kept asking myself. If we really are where we're supposed to be in every moment, maybe there was some reason for me to go to the Emergency Room, so I stopped fighting it and drove over.
"I have a book signing that I have to get to," I said to the resident as I was getting examined,"I hope this won't take too long!"
I could feel his eye-roll as I finished blurting out my twisted set of priorities-
I may have 5 kidney stones, but I can't miss a speaking engagement!
Two hours, and one cat scan later, I was waiting for my test results in room 6. The feeling of the hospital was nothing chaotic like I'd pictured it from watching television. There was a woman who fell and bumped her head. She only came to the ER because she was 90 and her nurse was worried she may have internal bleeding. There was a girl with the flu. She sat in discomfort as her mom moved her hair out of her face. I saw a boy with a foot injury, but he was doing his best not to cry when they put him in wheelchair.
What the Doctor's and nurses didn't seem to realize was that everything they said in the common area could be heard by the waiting patients. I could tell which patients were annoying, or which Doctors were annoyed.
" I think there should be a rule," one Doctor said. "No patients are allowed in if they're between the ages of 90-100. But if you're between 60 and 70, that's a different story," he said with a laugh.
There was only a curtain separating them and us- unless they shut the glass doors, which happened for real emergencies.
As I was waiting in my hospital bed for the news of my kidney's demise- I started to hear the faint sound of a baby crying. This wasn't just any baby, but a newborn. It wasn't just crying, it was wailing as if this child had lost a limb. As a mother, my heart broke for the family. The parents sounded panicked. The pace of the hospital staff seemed to increase as the urgency filled the air. The wails got louder and louder until the baby was put in room 7- right next door to me. I thought of what the mother must have been feeling- did this child get hurt in a car accident? Did it fall off a counter? Did it swallow poison? Maybe the parents abused the poor thing, and it was just left at the hospital? I had no idea, but I ached with pain at the thought of any of these scenarios.
Then I started to pray. I don't like that word because I'm not religious, but consider myself to be spiritual. I looked up at the cieling and started talking to my dead Dad, dead Granny, dead Mother-in-law, dead Father-in-law- and put in my order...
Please help this baby. If there is a God, and there are angels, please surround this baby with love and light and help the family through this tough time. Help them all feel you. Help ease their pain. Send them love. Please. Please. Please!!!!!
After about 5 minutes, the crying stopped. At first I was worried that maybe the baby had died. Then I saw a nurse come out of the room with a smile. The staff was obviously relieved. Whatever had happened, the worst was over. But I realized that in the big picture, my kidney issues didn't seem that important. Here I had been worried about making a book signing, and these people are wondering if their child is going to survive.
A few minutes later, I heard the resident speaking to my Doctor. "Got the results for room 6. She's clean," he said. "Really?" The Doctor said, surprised. "Yep" the resident said- "No stones. What do you wanna do?" he asked. "Just give her some vicodin," said the Doctor. "Only 30," he added. "She doesn't need more than that."
Damn
All that pain with no medical explanation didn't seem to make sense. But they sent me home. As I drove out of the parking lot, the attendant took my ticket and said, "four fifty please." I looked at her in shock. "After spending hundreds of dollars at the ER, you're still gonna charge me $4.50?!" I gasped. "Sorry," she said half heartedly, as she gladly took my money.
I looked down at my wrist and saw my hospital name band. I was able to leave the ER. What about those who couldn't? What about those who didn't? This visit was a bigger gift than I had imagined. When I woke up this morning, I was pissed I hadn't gotten a returned email from "The Today Show" about doing an interview for my book. As I write this, I realize I am blessed to be here; to have my son- to have my husband- to have my life. We really are everywhere we are supposed to be in every moment. The Today Show can wait. Some things are more important.
