Trust.  It's a really easy word to type, but a very difficult thing to do.  To TRUST that things will work out when reality says otherwise.  My logical mind keeps getting bogged down with probing questions like "how are we going to pay the mortgage?" and my spiritual mind says "jump and the net will follow..."

I had two potential sources of income that were supposed to be starting the first week of January- and they were both put off until Feb or March.

"Shit!" I said, going through my paperwork.. "Now what are we going to do?" 

My one woman show just re-opened for a second run on December 12th.  We'd had a very successful run at The Viaduct Theater this summer and fall, and I was thrilled when The Chicago Center for the Performing Arts wanted to bring me in.  As the days got closer to our opening- it seemed that everything went wrong; the walls needed to be repainted in the space- and the lights weren't working correctly.  Then, we changed our opening from a Wednesday to a Friday- and changed the run days and times of the shows.  It was as if all the cards seemed to be stacked against me...

When I was still working for CBS, I met Rod Blagojevich.  Many times.  The first time is the most memorable.  It was for the primaries the March before he was elected.  My job was to interview Rod at a breakfast joint, and see how he was doing.  

As I approached him at the counter of the greasy spoon, I was almost tackled by one of his "posse".  "May I HELP you?!" He demanded, while leaning into me.  

I was driving in my car the other day running errands, and my phone rang.  It was my friend Therese.

"Hey Jen.  So- I don't know if you've heard yet about Susan Quandt..."

I had just seen Susan- she was a mutual friend of ours, and she came to see my one-woman show in September.   

"What about her?"  I asked.

"Well- she got into an accident, and- well, she died.."